Tired in your journey? 'Arise and Eat'

I woke up one morning with a heavy heart. My mind is covered with a lot of things and I felt emotionally inadequate and spiritually tired. I asked God why I feel this way, I know that I shouldn't. I know God's truth, therefore why am I in despair? I felt so bad. I thought to myself "God must be disappointed with me" But just before I could drag myself more in a downward spiral of discouragement, God brought me into this story.

1 Kings 19:1-9

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.

All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night.

I could relate myself to this story,

Elijah was afraid, sat down under a bush and prayed “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.”

These words are clearly words of despair. Elijah was beat up, he is tired running for his life. He has seen one of God's greatest miracle and deliverance and yet these are the words that came out of him.."Lord, take my life." Sometimes things just get so discouraging that no amount of miracles from the past could convince up to keep on going.

Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.

Elijah slept. He is tired and discouraged, therefore he rested. God told me to do the same, to rest emotionally and spiritually. But I asked God, "Lord, shouldn't I keep on going? isn't that how faith should be displayed?"

He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. God gave him bread and a jar of water. Then he rested again. I remember in my middle of despair, God spoke to my heart and gave me a wonderful promise a Word that I could hold on to. To me, that was my bread and water. However I wondered why I couldn't bring myself into believing ,I want to keep on going, but I can't. I felt guilty of this.

God reminded me of Grace

Most of us are exhausted from our journey. Like Elijah, we also struggle in a lot of areas in our lives. However, we sometimes reach a point in our journey where we think God has brought us far, we have matured in the Lord, and so at times when we feel discouraged, hopeless and in despair, we invalidate this feeling. Truth is, we put expectations upon ourselves to be always hopeful, full of strength and courage. Well, not only us but also those around us. After all, isn't that how true Christians should be ? Like a true warrior we should always be strong in the face of adversity. And so we feel guilty, when we don't feel a certain way as expected by us and those people around us. We try to rebuke the feeling, rehearse God's promises, and when none of it works, we feel condemned and feel like a defeated warrior.

In the middle of my pondering, God reminded me of grace. God showed me that when I feel discouraged, I'm in the perfect position to receive his strength. I was confronted with the fact that because my exterior is too strong, I lose sight of his grace. He is breaking this mold in me. My idea of a "strong Christian" is different from what the Lord have in mind. Truth is, the Lord's strength is revealed in our weaknesses. But oftentimes we get lost somewhere between our willpower and His power in us. God showed me that I don't need to invalidate my feelings. In fact, it is important for me to recognize them. I learned that I am not less of a Christian when I am tired, wounded and discouraged because that's an evidence of my humanity. We cannot be strong ALL THE TIME. Like a true warrior, we can be exhausted too. Truth is, we can run to the Lord, be vulnerable and show Him how scared, confused, tired and discouraged we are. The sooner we understand and accept our weaknesses, the sooner we could receive God's strength.

God is not disappointed in you

When God gave me a wonderful promise in the middle of my despair, I still find it hard to keep on going. I felt guilty of this. How can I feel this way when I know God's truth? I thought I have disappointed the Lord. But the Holy Spirit spoke to me, "yes you know the truth but you are tired from your journey." That's when I realized,I'm guilty because I have expectations with myself that I have not met. When God gave Elijah something to eat and drink because he is exhausted from his journey, he did not expect him to move ten steps forward. The Lord knows he is worn out. And so instead of pushing him to move and be the "super prophet" that he is, He allowed Elijah to lay down and rest again.

All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

When God gave me that promise of hope, that too was my bread and water. I have to eat because I'm drained from the journey. However, God did not expect me to be ready to conquer the world again right away. I could eat and drink, and lay down again just like what Elijah did. But I still thought I have disappointed the Lord, but He actually wasn't. It was I who was disappointed with myself. It's because I have spiritual expectations that I should feel a certain way because I know God's truth.

The Lord showed me that this feeling is a distorted image of God in my mind. You see, if I am God, that's how I would feel. But I failed to realized that God is not like me. So with that thinking, I unintentionally dragged God's character down to my level and projected God's image similar to mine. But He is not disappointed. In fact, God loves me the same. He is patient with me And in His loving nature, He looks at me with eyes of compassion. He is ready to renew me, and help me to get back up and continue with my journey. But for now, I could eat drink and lay down again.

His love cannot be earned

We need to remind ourselves that God loves us just the same. We fail him today or not, there's nothing we can do to make God love us less. I don't mean that we abuse His grace and just do whatever we want since He would keep on loving us anyway. What I mean is, to let go of the thought that God's love diminishes whenever we do something wrong or if we don't live up to His expectations. Again, this is a distorted image of God in our minds. God wants us to always rely on Him, draw strength from Him, but God never imposes His expectations on us. He is loving and patient with us and will always meet us wherever we are in our journey. He does not expect us to be a 'super-christian' because we will never be one. In fact, He wants us to be exposed in our weaknesses so he can restore us into Him and so we can grow deeper in the understanding of His love.

Going up to the mountain is tiring

The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night."

For the second time, the Angel of the Lord came back and gave Elijah something to eat, but this time the angel said.. "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you". Then he traveled, until he reached the mountain of God.

In the middle of my pondering, the Holy Spirit encouraged me with this thought "The Lord is taking you to a higher place" I was like, "Wow!" Talk about working for my good! And so I understood that its the reason I feel exhausted. When God takes us to a higher place it means he is taking us to a higher level of faith and maturity in Him. We feel tired, because going up to the top of the mountain is exhausting and challenging. That's why we need to arise and eat or the journey will be too much.

He reminded me when I once went up to the mountain. We couldn't reach the summit and do everything in one day. We had to stop and rest for a while so we can regain strength and continue the next day. And when we did, I thought I was ready to go the following morning. Like it would be easier because I slept that night, but it was so cold and I was so exhausted I almost did not reach the summit. I believe God reminded me to of this to show me that in those moments of almost giving up, I will experience so much of His grace. When I am at the last straw of my strength, His power and strength will be revealed. When you feel tired and exhausted, be excited. God is taking you to a higher place, He is promising to give you a better view. But going up there is no easy task, you have to get up and eat or the journey will be too much for you.

God helped me understand FAITH

It's always my prayer to be a woman of faith. But in my moment of weakness, God revealed to me what this really means. A woman of faith is not the kind who is ready to face adversity and challenges all the time. A woman of faith can be scared sometimes too, but she is the kind who is emptied and filled by the grace of God in the times she doesn't have it all figured out.

PRAYER

Lord Jesus,

Thank you for the truth that you remind me everyday. Lord may I always remember that when I'm tired in my journey, I can rest in your loving arms. May your words echo to me that in my moment weakness, I can have a quiet surrender, so you can renew me. Draw me close to you Lord so I can always find hope in the middle of my journey. Thank you because I can be weak before you and you'll still love me the same. Help me to lose my wrong idea of a 'strong christian' because the truth is, when I am weak then I am strong. For your power is made perfect in my weakness. I know at this moment God, you are taking me into a higher place with a higher view, the journey is difficult so help me never to lose sight of your grace. Thank you for your perfect love Lord that helps me to keep on going.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

#Christianity #Jesus #grace #hope #elijah #journey #faith #trust #truth #encouragement #1kings