5 things to do when you’re Single

So it’s kind of raining today, and I was supposed to go somewhere with a friend but we postponed it due to the bad weather. And since I’ve got nothing to do with my time, I figured I should do something productive just to keep my brain cells working. Hahaha. Just kidding. Truth is, I have been wanting to write something about this topic and something about the weather encouraged me to write. Anyway, if you are single, or knows someone who is single, I hope this post helps.  So let’s talk about what people dreads to do talk about. Being SINGLE. Some people don’t know what to do, some people think they figured it out, some people just haven’t really thought about it yet. So today I’m sharing my thoughts about it. Below are 5 things to do when you’re solo. 😉 1. Love God

He answered, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" - Luke 10:27

I know it sounds cliche but there’s no better advice I could give but this. So please keep on reading. There’s a reason why this is God’s greatest commandment. After all, married or not married, this is what we should be actively pursuing in our lifetime. I became a Christian 9 years ago. I fell in love with the Lord, and it may sound cheesy or weird to some but I’m still in love with Him to this day and it just keeps on growing. What I learned in my walk with the Lord is that, just as most relationships, our relationship with Him needs time, work and effort too. This is what I believe—Some people fall out of love because they stopped trying to know the person. They stopped discovering things that make their hearts skip a beat and they stopped growing as a “lover” to their significant other. And this the same with our relationship with Jesus. Knowing Him takes sincerity to know Him deeper and better each day. It takes investing time in the relationship and enjoying the time spent with Him. Believe me, if we get tired and bored in knowing or spending time with a perfect God, then for sure, we will get bored spending time with our imperfect future spouses. Spend time with Jesus, know Him intimately and just be good at loving Him, so that it will be less difficult loving that significant other when he/she comes along.  

2. Deal with your own baggages

A few years ago, I had a deep insecurity that I just couldn’t shake off no matter what I do. So I asked God, “Lord can you just give me a husband that would tell me everyday that I’m beautiful so I wont be insecure anymore?”  But the Holy Spirit was like “Nah-ah! That’s not how you deal with it. You deal that with Me. Alone. If you don’t, no matter how loving and affirming your husband is, his words will never be enough for you.” And it’s true. If I dont believe what God says to me now, then most likely I wont believe what anyone says no matter how sincere they are. And of course God is right. He even added by saying “ I am not going to give you a person that you will just destroy because you have baggages and you have wounds that haven’t healed yet.” and that thought scared me, because wounded people tend to wound others. That opened my mind to a whole new level. My hurts, pains, it will just come out even more. And I don’t want to see my husband’s life destroyed because I dragged him down to my insecurity pit. 

I’ve seen marriages destroyed because one of the spouses or both of them, have personal baggages that they have just dealt with or discovered when they’re already married. Just imagine how difficult that could be. We all have issues, that’s a given.  But most often than not, they are easier to deal with the Lord ALONE. Some of us are abused, some of us are deeply insecure, some have anger issues, some distrust people, some of us are haunted by our past and some are simply emotionally unstable. If you cannot deal it by yourself and God, then it’ll be more difficult dealing it with another person. However, if we will come to the Lord, and let Him do His work in us, He promises to.. 

Heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds (Psalm 147:3)

Let’s use this season to heal so that when the next season comes, we won’t have those extra baggages with us anymore. 3. Love yourself

I don’t mean for you to be a narcissist and be self-centered. Loving yourself means discovering what you like, you don’t like, discovering new dreams, passion, etc. Most of us know ourselves less than we think we know. Just learn love yourself. Accept you and your flaws. Be proud of you. Celebrate your little victories and live each day with joy. I’ve always had this idea that I cannot be loved by someone if I don’t genuinely love myself. I cannot expect others to love me if I hate me. Kind of exterme to use the word hate. But you know I have a point here. Some of us don’t even like ourselves. Discover you, grow in loving yourself and the Lord more.  And just to remind you, this is what God thinks of you.. 

“You are altogether beautiful my love; there is no flaw in you”- Song of Solomon 4:7 4. Improve on the necessary skills There was one morning, I was such in a hurry, I didn’t fix my bed. When I was about to leave I heard the Holy Spirit spoke so loud in my heart “go back and make your bed” so i’m like, “Lord, I’m already late can I deal with that later?” But the conviction in my heart was so strong to go back and follow the Lord’s instruction. So I did. Later that day I contemplated on why would the Holy Spirit convict me so much with as simple as making my bed? Well the Lord didn’t explain much but what I heard was “That’s what wives do.” And He’s right. If I want to be a wife someday, making my bed is something I should be excellent at doing.

Remember proverbs 31? Sharing a part of it here..

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” ‭‭

“She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:10, 22, 27-29‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Isn’t funny? That making bed coverings is mentioned here? It must be that important for it to make it to the scripture. I know It’s a simple thing but what the Lord taught me that day is, if I want that role (being a wife) someday, then I should invest time to learn and improve on the necessary skills and to grow in it through practice.  5. Serve God and His Kingdom I know you’ve heard this before, but loving God and serving Him is the most obvious thing to do when you’re single. There is a reason why apostle Paul chose not to marry. And the reason is very obvious. Singles have more time. Now let me clear something up, I’m not saying that God’s kingdom will not advance when you’re married. Of course it will. But there are things married people are limited in doing compared to single people. 

Case in point: I have an older sister, she has a 2 y/o kid which she truly loves. But looking at her makes me wonder how much sleep, time, and dreams she sacrified and let go to take care of my nephew. It must be a lot! I admire my sister but it just reflected to me on how much the Lord can use me in this season to advance His works even more. I guess what I’m trying to say is.. being single is such a special season that allows God to use us efficiently and effectively in His Kingdom. So while you’re not married, work in God’s kingdom. Donmt waste your waiting time. Grow in it. Disciple people. Add value to someone’s spiritual life. Seek first His Kingdom and serve wholeheartedly.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭NIV‬‬

These are just 5 points but I do hope that this post helped you discover the purpose of your season and I hope you will learn more as you seek God more intimately. 

“When the time is right, I, the Lord will make it happen”- Isaiah 60:22

#onepromiseaday